Friday, January 9, 2009

A Penny Saved Is....Still Just A Penny

Well, I'm right there with the rest of the "average Joe's" and am waiting for things to pick up in the economy. See, at this time last year I was in a completely different spot. I was working for Wachovia and having monthly bonuses over a $1000. (Yes, you read that right!) I was still pregnant, and my husband was working overtime quite regularly. So, there was quite a bit of extra money coming in, and we were finally digging ourselves out of the deep dark hole of debt that we had so quickly gotten ourselves into. Well, it's 2009, and here are the current standings- I don't work with Wachovia anymore, so no more $1000 a month bonuses. I had my baby in April so we now have something to spend that extra $ on. :) And due to the economy, Jeremiah is no longer working overtime. In fact, his regular hours are occasionally being cut, and his paychecks shrank due to insurance costs for our bouncing, baby boy!

You see, the average person would assess the situation and start to worry. Not me, though! I am not the... well, actually, YES I AM! I am a constant worrier. I like to see what the problem is and see the solution right away. I am not patient. Right before the baby was born and Jeremiah's overtime started getting cut, I looked at Miah and said "What have we done?!?! We can't afford a baby!" Then I changed jobs (of my own free will) and when the pay was less I again said, "What have we done!?! We can't afford a job change!" I have worried and stressed each step of the way, BUT every time we have needed something the Lord has provided. I cannot tell you how many times and ways HE provided, but HE has. It amazes me to look back and see what the Lord did for us in 2008. I know that HE will still provide for us, yet, I still doubt, fear, and worry each time I see our checking account balance decrease and the bills still come.

This past week at church, both Sunday school and Sunday morning's messages were on the same thing: Finances and Faith. Prior to the service, I had already realized that I didn't have finances, but I was reminded during the sermon that I was also lacking in faith. As many times as GOD has provided for us, how could I still doubt? The thing is, GOD isn't handing me a piece of paper with HIS plan written out. I have to SEE the plan and know that it will work; I have to be in control of the situation. GOD doesn't work that way. HE says "Be still, and know that I am GOD." HE has to repeat that over, and over, and over, and... (you get the point) to me sometimes because I just don't listen. I can't say that I'm not going to worry, but I am going to try harder to let go of the purse strings and let GOD take over. It may not work out the way I think is best, but I know that it will work out as GOD sees it is best. In the meantime, we are doing what we can. Jeremiah is looking for a second job, I'm looking for side jobs in design, photography, and music lessons. We are cutting out costs where we can and doing our best to not get in any deeper. Mainly I am trying my best to say, "GOD I am doing all I can, but this one is up to you. I've gone as far as my humanity will let me and I have to have faith that you will get me the rest of the way!"

GOD wants to bless us, but too often we get in the way. I know that the messages on Sunday had my name written on them in big, red, capital, bolded, underlined letters-- and I saw them..finally. ;) I didn't make any resolutions this year, except for one. Let go and let GOD! I have to remind myself repeatedly that I made that resolution, but I know that it is the best way to live. Our feeble minds cannot comprehend all that GOD wants and wills for us. HE will provide for our every NEED (not wants, but needs) and we have be smart enough and responsible enough to take what HE gives us and use it for HIS honor and glory.

2 comments:

  1. Welcome into the blog world. I enjoyed reading your thoughts - finances and faith...hmmmmm - something we will ALL be forced to deal with. Seems you are ahead of most. Way to go. Your blog lay out is fabulous!

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  2. Congrats on braving the blog world! You can so tell you have experience with graphic design. I'm jealous!
    About the finances, believe me, the primary motivator to staying in my chosen field is money. It pays well, but at a cost. Though it may be tough on you folks, if you'd stayed where you were, it would have changed you. I envy you that. Take care...

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